Where I belong, there, father let me be ?

this ain’t

my country. this is

your

New Nepal…

Again it’s curlylocks reading the road, that’s where ’m going and to do, yess, right book at the right time, ‘m excited long been in natural, aha, trips, people, ’m good at communicating, mingling, jingling waiting cursing everything. I look forward to freedom to write my dirty mind… what caged me? hell. away from these icky newspapers aha in my lost paradise. That’s what I call it- ‘m sure I won’t miss all this. All like that false country image bushed in hellholes. Perfect trip! Having agued so long for wilderness, refusing to domesticate my tantrums (fucKINGycl), I can’t look myself in mirror- what’m I doin here? among these ‘socialised’ somebodies? this identity- ooh- being nobody, freaky encounters, aaaaaaah yup EVRERYTHING!!! that’s how soul attains nirbbana, what is real-spiritual-cosmic-ultimate-lifelong-haunting-memorable-
horrendous-reveries-andsaintlikeAWAKENING! I really miss my papers. I’ll sit and read for hours, hours, lost and fantasizing, and actually working them out dottily ‘m sick of stories, haven’t found a thing that excites, everything upsets lot of the times, dysphoric, dyslexic, suicidal, ghost of those forefathers stalking now and again… mygranddesignwouldegestthesescums. meahater of everything? except those chicks no nooooooh those comely bitchesandtheirattitude!!!! Big smiles, hello, ohYOUfuuukuuu? Anha, yea, yea, yES SIRRRrrraaaahyeeee. am done drinking? “oooh like dad like son!” too tired of thisshit ‘m true nomadicsoul- I’ve dreamt myself wandering those streets.. don’t remember how they looked like where hundreds of I wandered and have left themselves, found themselves, want to feel that, those mountainsriversandbeaches… bohemiannightsits!!! returning to nature… don’twanttowritethisthisslife so early, cannot, film, paint, melodramatic subaltern (helpless)?, hohohohohohobabyyyyyyyyyyimamachhoman, understand? without basic ‘artistic freedom’ here, amongst hellow-journalists, realintelfluctuals, gad, thatsmiiiiii hungryforeverything. Morningbrawlkungryday not sure no peace inside, alwayspissedoff. But nobody needs peace. Nobody will exchange their soul for this ALIEN soil- this ain’t my country- this is your NEW NEPAL. Don’t expect me to be a new nepali which I detest being I veritably HATE them, dyaheeearme IHATEEVERYTHING EVERYTHINGEVERYTHINGEVERYTHING. ‘mdamnsuffocatingrealhardhere, helpmeeplease. ‘m no INTELLECTUAL! Just a young creative league (my YCL) cadre lost midway sans a tracecreativityanytresses now…