September 29, 2007

Hope is a good thing


“More hands go up. Andy and the others are paraded along, forced by their chains to take tiny baby steps, flinching under the barrage of jeers and shouts. The old-timers are shaking the fence, trying to make the newcomers shit their pants. Some of the new fish shout back, but mostly they look terrified. Especially Andy.

I must admit I didn't think much of Andy first time I laid eyes on him. He might'a been important on the outside, but in here he was just a little turd in prison grays. Looked like a stiff breeze could blow him over. That was my first impression of the man.”

***

"I have no idea to this day what those two Italian ladies were singing about. Truth is, I don't want to know. Some things are best left unsaid. I'd like to think they were singing about something so beautiful, it can't be expressed in words, and makes your heart ache because of it. I tell you, those voices soared higher and farther than anybody in a gray place dares to dream. It was like some beautiful bird flapped into our drab little cage and made those walls dissolve away, and for the briefest of moments, every last man in Shawshank felt free."

***

“I had Mr. Mozart to keep me company. Hardly felt the time at all.”

“Oh, they let you tote that record player down there, huh? I could'a swore they confiscated that stuff.”

(Andy taps his heart, his head-)

“The music was here...and here. That's the one thing they can't confiscate, not ever. That's the beauty of it. Haven't you ever felt that way about music, Red?”

“Played a mean harmonica as a younger man. Lost my taste for it. Didn't make much sense on the inside. “

“Here's where it makes most sense. We need it so we don't forget.”

“Forget?”

“That there are things in this world not carved out of gray stone. That there's a small place inside of us they can never lock away, and that place is called hope.”

“Hope is a dangerous thing. Drive a man insane. It's got no place here. Better get used to the idea.”

***

"Tell you where I'd go. Zihuatanejo."

"Zihuatanejo?"

"Mexico. Little place right on the Pacific. You know what the Mexicans say about the Pacific? They say it has no memory. That's where I'd like to finish out my life, Red. A warm place with no memory. Open a little hotel right on the beach. Buy some worthless old boat and fix it up like new. Take my guests out charter fishing.

You know, a place like that, I'd need a man who can get things."

Red stares at Andy, laughs.

“Jesus, Andy. I couldn't hack it on the outside. Been in here too long. I'm an institutional man now. Like old Brooks Hatlen was.”

“You underestimate yourself.”

“Bullshit. In here I'm the guy who can get it for you. Out there, all you need are Yellow Pages. I wouldn't know where to begin.

Pacific Ocean? Hell. Like to scare me to death, somethin' that big.”

“Not me… I don't think it's too much to want. To look at the stars just after sunset. Touch the sand. Wade in the water. Feel free.”

“Goddamn it, Andy, stop! Don't do that to yourself! Talking shitty pipedreams! Mexico's down there, and you're in here, and that's the way it is!”

“You're right. It's down there, and I'm in here. I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really. Get busy living or get busy dying.”

***

“In 1966, Andy Dufresne escaped from Shawshank Prison.

All they found of him was a muddy set of prison clothes, a bar of soap, and an old rock-hammer damn near worn down to the nub.

I remember thinking it would take a man six hundred years to tunnel through the wall with it. Andy did it in less than twenty.”

***

“Get busy living or get busy dying. That is goddamn right.”

***
“Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.”


excerpts from

-the shawshank redemption 1 2
- script- angelfire

-also read interview- morgan freeman

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September 25, 2007

In search of real me

'The best pictures are uninvited, they're suddenly there in front of you ... easy to see but difficult to catch. Some people take pictures, I find them. These pictures are the real me.'

-Jane Bown

So do stories. Waking up in-between the night- running to Swoyambhu. Counting steps- one, two, three… three hundred fifty three. Panting, sweating heavily. Slightly frightened, little excited. That's how the night continued. Two days later, I was on the rooftop again. Cold, shivering and without anything but a pen, a notebook, that my brother gave to me to use in college, and a cell. But I couldn't even write. I'd no words- there I sat silently.

The dark blue sky was nothing unusual- but I was. Careful, and just feeling things. I'd already lost my words- all my words in the last few years. It was a slow process, the chrysalis. Now, time for the search. Like rising from the ashes of Berlin bunkers. From the cloistered mountains of Bamyan. Devil or God! But it was cold. Soft, silent. Smell of moonshine. Irritating. Breathe. Provoking to rain, legs, sounds and attack of knowledge. Thirst, quest.

And, there again ecstasy turned into works. Works. Dreams continued on old grounds. Plans. Flames were not new, naught. Adventures ceased at Kantipur. So it's time to think-travel. Travel- oh yeas. I'm in search for those early words that revelled my childhood. It's time to move on- and into those early years. Letters. Cards. Songs. But with a new meaning that awaits them. Yes, always late. Sorry, never on time.

But I'm finding real me- and I'm lost midway. Not a picture anymore, not a story here.

Kathmandu is quiet these days amidst so much chaos and complaints. I'm working on a new site. On my life. Before the untimely jujube ripened by worm-nipping falls suddenly, I'll leave you something to find. Like they had before me.


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September 19, 2007

Time for Maoist to learn politics now

Maoists quit government.
But they are not returning jungles, are they?

Kantipur © Narendra Shrestha
Look, Dr Kumbhakarna growling. GRrrlll!

So you're surprised and shocked to see Maoists quitting the eight-party coalition government. (I am. But I'm laughing at the same time- just like you. How foolish we were- that we believed this new President Prachanda- the fierce one- would turn Nepal into Switzerland in next ten years. Switzerland or Swaziland? A question-- that we don't need to stake over six decade long career as a politician-- to answer.)

What would you expect from a people's party that has failed to live up to the people's expectations and aspirations? If not this, what? Personally, I support the Maoist' move. Why? See, when you've already failed in the government, it's better to walk out. I believe by staying out of the government, my dear comrades would learn the basics of politics. It's very difficult to fight diplomats and Nepalese politicians with all your brains and tongues, dear comrades. No, not as easy as using guns, lathis and your decade old guerilla skills. Come on, you know how difficult it is to fight a fool with intellect, don't you?

Sorry, but I think Prime Minister Girija Prasad Koirala has proved himself better than anyone would have thought few years back. Putting aside all my hatred for this octogenarian leader, today, I, like everyone here, don't have any better choice. If someone deserves to be the new President of a republic Nepal- then surely he must be Girija Babu. But he has few days in his hand- so many miles to go, before he can finally sleep. And, will he make it?

Nepal's sovereignty is at stake. After 'Menon Mantra' miserably failed, we are looking at our PM. Yes, I also think that he is right. The fate of monarchy and the country should be decided by the people- through the CA. I don't give this parliament- this government- the mandate to choose a national song or the authority to declare a republic. These politicians have learned nothing. So have Maoists. They all have failed us. I hate our system- but it will take time to change. Anyways, Prahcanda and his generation are not going to become extinct in next few decades. We've to wait until that.

I laugh today- not because I'm happy with Nepalgunj, Lahan, Gaur and Kapilvastu. I laugh today not because of the whole drama for the appointment of ambassadors. (Nepali diplomacy : Political appointees spoiling Nepal’s image) I laugh today not because our people sacrifice goats to planes. I laugh not because a Hindu PM attends a religious festival as a chief dignitary in a secular country. I laugh today not because I didn't take part in the April uprising. I laugh not because I shaved my head when King Birendra was killed and I never liked this illegitimate king. I laugh because of my madness- and this sickness of a patriot.

What can I do? One of the senior most journalists of the country said in a disappointing tone- "What can we do?" I don't know from where did it came. I said, "We can use our pen. Write, and start a discussion. Our children will talk and learn. And one day when s\he reaches to the post of PM, he won't repeat the same mistake." Yes, I was talking about me. But I'm losing my sanity here. I'm already starting to hate all these bloody b*%&%&ds. Am I honest? Yes but with myself.

Nepal cannot have peace without democracy, constitutional monarchy (where king is just a titular head) and a republic (democratic republic). (Do you think you have other way to peace? Come on, you cannot expect the king to silently accept his elimination. I don't think, Paras is a fool. Do you think they are? When Gyanendra restored the parliament- it was the best move for a statesman. We need money to start a revolution here in Nepal, my friend. And they have enough. Nepalese people are poor, hungry and sheepish. I think, you got me.)

I don't buy the demands of Madhesi, Indigenous and other communities over federal restructuring of the country and their autonomous regions today. Call me whatever you like- you're at liberty. (But not before my face- mind you?). What was wrong with our democracy? I've one simple answer- Nepalese people. Everywhere it's the same problem- good, educated and talented people don't want to get into politics. Do I want? NO. (That's the last thing I will do.)

I fear, I'd be just another President Prachanda or King Girija. I love to dictate- not to be dictated. Yes, I support Prachanda- but he lacks 'genuine' qualities that I would like to see in my president (including myself). (His hacks failed him- but my pc has a genuine XP.) Girija has learned much from his life. People tell me- the more you try to change things, the more they remain the same. They tell me- don't try to change the world- change yourself.

So, I've decided not to change others but myself. I've decided to be just a ordinary boy- writing to live and building new pals to prosper. I'll marry, have kids and become intellectual or whatever before dying. Why should I care? Am I right? Why shouldn't I start to lecture and blame that Maoists and their YCL are ruining our peace? Should I also blame that these kangresis and communists are f*&^$ing breed? Who remains swachha chhabi then? Me?

Time for me to quit. Time for me to kill. At least- myself? Or run away from this country. Denounce citizenship. Fall in love with a gori mem. Have kids. Everywhere, it'll be the same for me. No more patriotic lectures. No more blames. But truth- I need to experiment. I need to learn to be a Gandian. Love. Love. Love. Before seeing my country turning apart into pieces and few fools like me saying- ma mare pani mero desh bachhi rahos. ghatiya jaat. First, I want to become a good person. I hate myself so much. People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. I agree.

maanis dekhi tarsi tarsi,
ma bhaagi rahechhu
malaai timi na da-n-ka
rachhyesha bana-una...

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September 18, 2007

Id, Ego and Super-ego


A friend showed me this sketch... Nice one.

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September 17, 2007

Come on out into the sunlight

For Poets
by Al Young


stay beautiful
but dont stay down underground too long
dont turn into a mole
or a worm
or a root
or a stone
come on out into the sunlight
breathe in trees
knock out mountains
commune with snakes
and be the very hero of birds
don't forget to poke your head up
and blink
think
walk all around
swim upstream

don’t forget to fly

so im here finally a devils thought i was to destroy all my traces everything why if I dont write the world aint stopping

Hello

HELLO

Yes-
I’m facing the sun
And waiting for the rain here
Come
Come
Wellgointothesun
Wellrainandhavefun
littlecrylittleshy

FLY?

[sick]

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September 9, 2007

Dark patches in the fabric of shining India

Indian Thali

SANDEEP KRISHAN

On August 15, I left for the city 45 km away from my village to get the special Independence Day issue along with old copies of The Hindu which I get on a weekly basis.

I had to take the same private mini bus back to the village for there is no other means of transport to my village except these mini buses which run thrice a day.

Luckily I got back to the bus stand in time and got room on the roof of the bus. The guys sitting next to me were also from my village. I asked them why they had come to the city when their colleges were closed. They reluctantly told me they had come to buy the seesis (the bottles of cough syrup used as cheap drug).

Their faces were a mirror of the plight the border villages of Punjab are going through. Marred by a high rate of unemployment, village boys are caught in a drug net spread in border areas. The narcotics smuggled from West Asian nations via Pakistan are sent to Indian markets through the unemployed youth of villages. As the population is rising, land sharing among the villagers is decreasing. As their main employment being lost, the youth have turned to drug smuggling.

The newspapers which come to the village seem to have forgotten us. They keep on teasing us through Bollywood stories and the economic boom of shining India when we are in a state of jeopardy.

We as a nation we take pride in the Kargil war. But the deadlock created at that time ravaged the conditions in villages on the border with Pakistan. We were the ones who were asked to leave our land and migrate to safer places along with our cattle. We had to leave our belongings and green crops under no one’s custody.

Government compensation was always like a distant dream. When it reached us, it could not recreate the opportunities lost by that generation. While the shining nation celebrates in big cities the 60th anniversary of Independence, we the forgotten child, the border villages, still are the dark nation.

We still lack basic amenities necessary for survival along with education, healthcare, transportation, farm credit. We still suffer under debts, casteism, racial discrimination, thanks to illiteracy prevailing among us. What kind of the global village is this when a villager has to travel 90 km every week to a city to get a copy of a national newspaper?

(The writer is from village Khippanwali, Abohar, Punjab. He can be reached at sandeep_krishan29@yahoo.com)

from The Hindu, September 9, 'Open Page' (link)

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September 2, 2007

Kathmandu Blasts video Coverage



Two women were killed and over two-dozen injured in a series of bomb explosions rocked three busy market places in Kathmandu at around 4:15 pm Sunday.

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